10 Years of Being Missus P.

10 years deserves a big cookie. 🍪

Today marks our tenth anniversary. We’re supposed to be on a plane today, heading across the pond to Florida, eating chocolates and drinking champagne. Today I should be hugging my parents and introducing them to their grandson. We should be having dinner together as a family and looking forward to our two week visit.

Instead, Steve and I had McDonald’s breakfast delivered, then we had Pizza Hut pizza. Next will be the giant cookie. It’s special, and it’s nice. It’s not the way we imagined spending our anniversary, but in some ways it’s exactly the way we envisioned it because we’re at home with an 8 (almost 9) month old.

Our flight was cancelled ages ago because Covid in Orlando is making Disney a place to avoid. We’re rescheduled for May as our earliest date so, fingers crossed, that we get there then.

Today, however, I’m sitting here with Lenny, my new Lenovo Chromebook that Steve got me for my anniversary present. (Say “Hello,” Lenny!) I can now embark on my dreams of getting at least one book out the door by the end of the year.

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An update for May 2020

Afternoon walk in the sunshine ☀️

I’m trying out my new keyboard. It’s red with typewriter type keys. I never thought about getting one of these before until I saw a post where a girl had a pink, compact one for her iPad. (I need one of those too.)

It’s been so long since I’ve used the computer, and right now, Steve is watching Jack while I get ready for Steve’s birthday tomorrow. (I found his cards! Hooray!)

We’re still under lockdown here, unlike the US apparently who have restaurants open and like is “back to normal.” I still haven’t been to the shops since March, I’m guessing, so the only thing we’ve done is take walks. Sometimes I’ll take a ride in the car with Jack, just for a change of scenery, but that’s it.

To be honest, I don’t know what else I could be doing with the baby other than taking classes or going to the zoo, visiting the library, or other little activities just to pass the time. I worried a lot about “wasting” my maternity leave under lockdown, but I’ve accepted that there’s nothing I can do about it, and Jack’s happy with us, so it’s fine.

Jack has been sleeping better at night (touch wood), so I started journaling and bullet journaling again. I’ve also looked into working on my current WIP (at least I chose one) to keep up with and can tie into JuNoWriMo.

Anyone else doing that? Or has lockdown just been one big writing fest for everyone else? I’m so out of the loop and full of baby life that nothing else really is important.

I’ve messed around on the phone during Jack’s naptimes and want to work more on my author page and my imprint for when I do get my books back to publishing form. (I’ve been saying this for years, haven’t I?) I have only eight more months to be at home so maybe I can get something done but, again, I can’t really worry about that. There is just hardly any time with Jack’s schedule.

The funny thing is, I really thought I would have time to write this year. Yeah, not going to happen. Oh well!

I hope you all are writing and keeping safe. Here’s to a good June!

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An update for April 2020

Today was a beautiful day.  ☀️

I am writing this post on my phone while I sit in bed. Jack has been fed and is sleeping in my lap on his Boppy. The weather isn’t as cold as it had been recently and the sun is peaking through the clouds. It’s a nice day and I plan on taking a walk with him before the sun sets.

But that’s all I can do with him outside of these walls.

I can’t say I’m completely feeling the effect of this pandemic or the lockdown because I’ve been out of the loop for so long.

Once I had Jack, I was in a fog of exhaustion and feeding. I finally started taking him to baby classes when he was 10 weeks old. That was late compared to the other babies there. We were both shy about it and I tried a few classes until we found what we really enjoyed. Jack started to look at other babies with curiosity and would coo at his playgroup instructors. (He was also the star of the show at my first Weight Watchers meeting since becoming pregnant.)

Then it was all taken from us again.

Steve started working from home as well so he’s in a semi paternity leave again. He gives Jack bottles during conference calls and luckily our house is big enough that he can work without us (me, the baby, the cats, and the dog) getting in his way.

It’s such a relief to have him home though. Not only because I don’t have to worry about him getting sick, but because I have company in the daytime.

Mothers will tell people without children how hard it is. It’s all true and then some. While I do have feelings of isolation that doesn’t mean it necessarily has to do with lockdown. I was alone after Steve went to work and imagined a red X marking off the first day of my prison sentence. How was I going to go anywhere with this baby? Did I have the energy? Why is the pram and car seat so fiddly? Is it even worth going outside in the first place if we’re only out for an hour?

At first I slept sitting up with him and worried about it constantly since you’re not supposed to do that. Then I tried the GroSnug and had him swaddled. Low and behold, he slept in his cot for five hours so I could sleep lying down in the bed. Eventually I decided I didn’t want Jack to sit at home like a bump on a log all day. Also, supposedly those classes were for moms not to go insane from lack of adult human companionship.

I went to a few classes, enjoyed them, and realised how out of shape my body still is because I can’t crawl in the floor with my bad knees. But I felt better. I had a schedule of things to do with Jack, some days to visit the library with him for Bounce and Rhyme and even afternoon tea with the librarians.

Then the pandemic happened. Even before the lockdown I decided not to go to the library to visit anyone. I stopped going to the classes that were cancelled days later anyway. Steve started working from home earlier than most and we just went back to being together in the house.

I took Jack to the park before the one hour of exercise and don’t drive to a destination was enforced. Now all I can do is take him around the block or to the river walk.

The weeks have been tough. I am on duty 24/7, trying to be Wonder Woman and finally broke down and told Steve I needed help with the baby because I was mentally and physically exhausted.

Jack’s gone through what I presume is a growth spurt because he’s been eating every two hours and won’t sleep from 12-5AM like he had been.

I’ve gone back to sleeping and holding him. I don’t know if I should still be using the GroSnug or not.

I’m so full of worry about him when it comes to sleep safety that I think he’ll have to be 43 before I stop worrying. Maybe. I won’t count on it.

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An update for February 2020

Saltwell Towers

Jack has arrived!

Our boy was born on the 29th of December and I’ve been in a whirlwind of baby ever since.

Right now, I’m holding him with one hand and trying to type with the other. Motherhood will make you learn to improvise all sorts of things, I’ve noticed. (Eating with one hand. Sleeping with your hand in a cot. Having your husband hold the baby while you go to anywhere other than the bed because, otherwise, the baby cries when you set him down. Etc.)

Aside from trying to keep the baby’s weight up, which is ironic since my whole pregnancy was devoted to worrying about what a big baby he was, I have been trying to get out and about and stay active. This photo was taken during our first walk at the park.

Now, since I am pretty much stuck to the house and can’t really do much more than watch TV while I feed the boy, I have plans on how to keep myself sane during my maternity leave.

First: exercise. The easiest thing to do now, aside from sitting in bed all day, is to walk with the baby in the pram. I try to find places to take him during the week while Mister P. is at work, so that the day differentiates to the night.

Second: writing. Now, this is tricky because I can only type one handed at the moment (Jack hates the baby bouncer I have in the computer room, otherwise, I’d let him sit in there for a few minutes and give myself typing time.) So, its going to have to be me taking the laptop to a café and letting him sit in the pram.

I’ve decided to start with the basics, such as the blog (ta dah!) and maybe start some Medium stories. I was planning on writing something in draft form for Wattpad but I’ve also discovered Substack and Scribophile. (Has anyone used either?)

Third: bullet journal. This may not seem important on one’s list of to-dos but I dearly miss it. I’ve tried to grab snippets of time when I can use both hands for a quick weekly spread, or a list of TV shows to watch (because that’s pretty much all I do these days). But without the zen-like ability to quietly sit at my desk while I find the perfect washi tape, or look at tutorials on YouTube for making great Valentine’s Day doodles, it’s just not as fulfilling as it could be. Still, I’m grateful for whatever time I can use for organization and preparedness.

Fourth: reading. Well, this one does have options that I’m pleased about. I have the Kindle app on my phone, so I don’t have to go digging around for my Kindle or the book at the side of my bed. The trouble is, I’m only going to read a page at a time before I either get distracted by the baby or I start to nod off. Still, plenty of time to read for a few minutes when I’m said somewhere with the pram.

And those are my main objectives for the next bunch of months. Nothing new and nothing out of the ordinary. I suppose they’re resolutions of sorts but all of them take the back seat when it comes to being a mother and focusing my attention on Baby Jack.

But with that said, I hope everyone had a fab Christmas and a Happy New Year!

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Update before Christmas 2019

Christmas trees outside of the library.

We’re now 3 days away from Christmas and I’ve been on maternity leave from the library since the 14th of December. I spent my last evening at a work Christmas party so I wasn’t as melancholy about being away from my regular people as much as I could have been. However, it was insanely weird to not be at the library on Monday and not be expected to be at work all last week. I got listless and bored quickly, but being as heavily pregnant as I am now (only 1 week and 3 days left until my due date) I am way too tired to even consider being on my feet in the office or the library anymore.

For example, today I took two naps and it’s not even 11:30PM.

But everything is fine with Baby Pick. He is estimated to be 9.9lbs according to our last scan/ultrasound, so once we speak to the doctor on Christmas Eve, we’ll have a plan as to what to do as far as delivery is concerned. I think they’re gunning for induction the week of New Year’s, which I’m not keen on, but we’ll see what they say.

While I’ve been home, I’ve gotten a lot of Christmas wrapping done in case I’m otherwise engaged at the hospital or something. We bought all of our groceries last Friday so the house is full of snacks and everything we need for a traditional Christmas dinner (turkey crown, turkey gravy, rolls, parsnips, roast potatoes, mashed potatoes, carrots, pigs in blankets, stuffing balls, and brussel sprouts). I haven’t done anything really and I feel incredibly bad that Mister Pick has had to do all the things to get ready for Baby and the holidays. Fingers crossed I recover quickly after Baby arrives. I miss walking the dog in the mornings.

Now that I’m off work and have some waiting around time, I’ve picked up The Cheerleaders as my current Kindle read. I also want to get back to writing and I’m itching to start crafting a project. I have the idea that I’ll just write all the books and so many authors who are writing all genres of YA and MG just make me all the more motivated to get back to the task of creativity. It’s something I really do miss.

And it’s not like I don’t have tons of ideas and topics I’ve jotted down over the last year to keep me busy. The idea of flexing and toning those muscles of creativity really is true and when you get out of the groove of it because of life and whatnot, it’s even more daunting to get back to it.

With Baby on the way and New Year’s approaching, I’ve also been in the mindset of setting some goals for 2020. I admit that it’s all very traditional: be a good mom, be a good wife, get back to a healthy weight, run my 5K again, write all the books, and things like that.

So hopefully during my next post I can update everyone on how that’s going and maybe Baby Pick will have shown up in the world to give me a little more motivation and a little more understanding of what’s most important in the world. Until then, Merry Christmas!

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