Here I am, back at my desk, on an overcast Thursday morning. I’m home for once this week since I’d been running around each day for some reason or another. Actually, I’ve been running around a lot so last night I firmly decided that I was staying put today. I miss being on my regular schedule. I haven’t gotten nearly as much work done as I’ve wanted to but thankfully yesterday I snapped out of my rut.
I think the break I took was all right if I had done something else to be productive. Granted, I’ve been job-searching, going to the gym, and learning to drive, but for my state of mind I think it clutters it too much. I’m not very good with distractions so when I go out in the morning to do anything other than read at the gym, cafe and/or park before coming home at lunchtime, I get focused on everything else that’s going on. By the time I get home from an adventure in the car or on public transport, I get back feeling like my mind is still out there in the big, wide world.
Not that being outside is a bad thing either. I’m sure it helps. Just as Anais Nin said, “My ideas usually come not at my desk writing but in the midst of living.” It’s good to be out and about but being here is really good too. I need both from time to time. I have to go outside and see people and get ideas for when I am at my desk. Not that most of what I see is all that impactful but it’s nice to breathe the fresh air (which is why I keep my window open) and yes, the exercise is good too, I suppose.
Anyway, so yesterday I went to an interview. While the people there were nice, I was glad they didn’t offer me the job. I’d love to work, of course, but there were some glaring errors in the whole situation. First, the invitation letter they sent me had incorrect dates on it. I had to call and verify when I was supposed to show up. Then, the email address I was supposed to use to notify the school that I was coming to the interview didn’t work at all. When I tried to call the school, they were all on vacation, so no one was there to answer the phone. When I showed up for the interview (a bus/metro/bus commute) I met the Headteacher, the Literacy Teacher and the Head of English. The school had 900+ students, was being renovated and the position required a school librarian to totally re-do the whole library after the start of next school year. Then, they actually said, “The school librarian position doesn’t require anyone full-time so the new employee would also assist the English Department in lesson plans and teaching small groups.” Okay, so that essentially is a school media specialist job, except we’re supposed to assist all departments. Plus the pay was lower than even a teacher’s assistant. For all of that work, they offered £13/$20 thousand a year. I was floored. How can someone be a librarian for a huge school like that, and be responsible for what one department expects of them too? Who would you report too? What duties would be the most critical? They were even already using that library for classes too so it seemed like a big mess.
After they explained this, I thought, “Yeah, this is not a job I would settle for.” Even if they had offered it to me, I would have kept looking. After noon, they called me to tell me they’d chosen someone else who had experience building up libraries so they had more creative ideas than I did. They gave me feedback, saying I didn’t answer the questions directly, which I knew I hadn’t because they were vague questions I hadn’t been asked for: “How do you see using the library for extra-curricular activities?” To me, extra-curricular activities are sports and clubs. So I gave them ideas for journalism, drama, book clubs, etc. I have no idea what else they were looking for there.
But the minute I knew I didn’t get the job, I was pumped to go back to work here. I sat at my desk, and got 1000 words out. A big accomplishment from my blah, unmotivated non-wordage lately. Every time I get a rejection call or letter, I wonder if God is saying, “I keep trying to tell you, you need to sit at that desk. That’s your job now!” At any rate, I’m totally over it with these interviews. I know I’m doing better than the 55-60 people who applied and didn’t get shortlisted for interviews but when there’s always an issue of experience, I’m just not going to get anything in U.K. schools.
Now I have the Olympics and my computer to concentrate on. I’ve gotten hooked on my Pretty Little Liars books and TV show that I recorded ages ago on the V+ box too. I am perfectly fine with sticking around the house for a while and just feeling like myself again.