A day at the park

Geese at the pond

Here are a few pictures I took at the park today. I used my Kodak Easy Share mini M200 for a change. I got this camera for my birthday last September and, low and behold, it doesn’t have a share option to anything other than email or Facebook. Frankly, that makes it’s pretty useless if it doesn’t support Twitter, Flickr or Youtube anymore. It has no image stabilizer so it’s a pain to get a decent photo out of it anyway. I’ll stick to my Canon PowerShot SD850 IS for awesome photos or my HTC Sensation for stuff on the go, thank you.

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Nothing but my own devices

Library windows

Steve is now on his way home and I’m so glad. I cannot believe that I spent X amount of years living alone – it’s so boring. I can’t stand not being on a regular schedule and having the days just stretch on like that. Still, after spending all of yesterday eating frozen pizza, playing Skyrim and watching iCarly (the same routine was done today as well, but I substituted the pizza with chicken dippers) I ended up doing absolutely nothing productive. Well, no, I did the laundry and went to the doctor today, so that counts.

Doctor’s was no big deal. He sat at his desk and basically said, “Just because some people can’t skip meals doesn’t mean they have low blood sugar but everyone should have it checked.” I’m sort of surprised that being as sick as I was, it isn’t a cause for alarm. Anyway, I have my blood test and check up next week just to be on the safe side. I’m sure they’ll be like, “Nono, everything’s fine,” and I’ll spend the rest of my life being paranoid if I sleep in that I’ll pass out if I don’t stuff myself with bananas the minute I get up. Fabulous.

Also, since I talk to everyone (it’s the Southern way) I told my taxi driver today that I was learning to drive and how crazy these roads seem to me. He was saying that the amount of cars on the road now is way too much when most of the residential streets haven’t been renovated for fifty years. So now no one has a parking space and very narrow streets end up being a small lane to get through because the roads are simply overcrowded. I couldn’t agree more. He was surprised that my Florida license would only work for 1 year here before I had to get a U.K. license because any driver in the European Union can drive in any country. That includes the French roads that are completely different from British ones. (They also can teach in any country too but I won’t get into that again.) Apparently there are driving courses that guarantee that you’ll pass within a week or two, so they give students concentrated lessons and keep testing them until they pass. Does that mean they know how to drive well? No. So taxi cab driver wished me well and said I was doing this the right way – no rush so take my time to get really comfortable with the whole thing.

I wonder how long this will actually take though. Will I have my license by September, perhaps? I hope so. *fingers crossed*

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The Tuesday Seven

I just loved this cat in Whitley Bay.

1. I’m writing this from my desk in the study while the cat is trying to open the closet door (he’s an expert at such things.) I finally got back into working this afternoon. Earlier this month I was at least adding some notes and snippets here and there but I’m back to doing what I’m supposed to be doing now that it’s, what, the 10th of July? Sheesh. We’re hoping to have the first project published online soon. Just not sure how soon it will be. End of July, maybe?

2. My next driving lesson is tomorrow. I keep thinking that each time I’m going to finally be some British driving expert and the clutch control will come so naturally. I am now over the initial hump of “what the heck am I doing?” frustration into the, “why doesn’t this car listen to me?” phase. The clutch control – Lord, have mercy! I really marvel at the competence that so many people have to drive a stick shift on a hill. I feel like I’m the slowest learner when it comes to driving lessons and I feel bad for the poor instructor who must need to smoke 10 cigarettes after each lesson. I can only imagine the conversations that go on at the driving school when all the instructors tell their stories of woe; “Well, I have this dumb American lady who gets panicky when she sees a bus coming toward her…” Really, it’s pretty freaky.

3. Steve is going down South to snag himself a big shiny award for his company tomorrow. This means I’ll be sitting on the couch, painting my toenails and eating pizza with the cat. After living on my own for all those years, I get bored very easily when I’m left to my own devices.

4. After our trip to Whitley Bay Saturday, I slept in on Sunday and intelligently decided to take a shower before eating anything. Now, I’ve been dizzy a lot in my life and when I was a kid they told me my blood pressure was just low, and it was no big deal because, “those kind of people live forever.” But this was different. Instead of being a little lightheaded I basically collapsed and didn’t get better until Steve brought me a banana. It wasn’t as if I had been starving myself because, I’d eating a big plate of fish and chips for dinner (plus honeycomb ice cream) the night before, and had a crumpet early that morning before I went to bed. Anyway, since this has become some weird occurrence that I want to avoid all together, I’m going to the doctor Thursday to see if I can get my blood sugar checked. The doctor will probably just tell me to eat more bananas and I’m going to live forever.

5. I have another job interview on Monday. Another school library job (which means I really want the job) but with the past history of not getting any kind of work offers due to my non-native-ness, I’m not going to be very surprised if I don’t get the job. (Not to be pessimistic, but it’s really getting old.) Still, it’s good that something is happening and I am still in the running to becoming Britain’s Next American School Librarian (that makes sense only if you read it as I’m American and the school library is in Britain.) 

6. I found out that I do have to take the famous Life in the U.K. test when I apply for my Indefinite Leave to Remain / Settlement in December / January. I have my test booklets now but so I have to study up before I go to our Home Office appointment (which we can’t even make yet because the calendar only goes up to four months in advance.) Here I thought I was just going to have to worry about taking a stinking driving test this year.

7. I’ve been reading Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird. One of my favourite passages so far is,

“I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die…perfectionism will ruin your writing…Perfectionism means that you try desperately not to leave so much mess to clean up” (28.)

Ain’t it the truth? We’ve also been watching The Walking Dead Season Two because it’s been on here. We watch it early enough so I don’t have nightmares. It’s not bad – we got to the part with the walkers in the barn. Also, my apologies to Sarah Dessen whose blog entry list on The Friday Five was my inspiration for today. (I didn’t really steal the idea because, well, it’s not Friday.) It really is a good, effective way to do a post though.

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Our trip to Whitley Bay

Here are the photos from our trip to Whitley Bay today. There wasn’t a lot going on and the fog made it seem even more dull that it probably should be in the summer.

I also made a travel video and tried out HipGeo for the first time.

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Cost of Writing: Priceless

Northern Goldsmiths, Blackett Street, Newcastle, England

I’m back at my desk before 9:30 on a cloudy Wednesday morning in July. I have my large pot of Starbuck bold brew and I’m ready to get back to work. However, I’m at the blog, typing this out instead of re-reading what I should have been working on in June. Why? It’s what I do. If I could get by with having a pill for ADHD each morning that would make me obediently sit at my desk, I’d have it made. Heck, we all would, wouldn’t we?

What is it about the self-esteem of someone creative that gives them the drive to go on? I was telling Steve the other day that now that I’m older, there is so much less that I worry about anymore. It’s a good thing, but sometimes it pulls me into an apathetic state that says, “Really, what’s the point?” There are so many people in this world and what we contribute is so small compared to the gamut of books being written every day. How small my contribution must be when I think about the largeness of it all.

Of course we all have the same answer to the question of why we write: because we have to. It’s true. I wouldn’t be myself if I didn’t write something (blog entries included) and I’m constantly thinking up of new projects. But there’s a life we lead as well and getting bogged down in trying to make a living off what we do is not only dismal, it’s near to impossible. Granted, I’m not working and this is what I do because I don’t have a place that exchanges money for my showing up to do tasks. That’s just the way things worked out. And those of us who do work know we want to write so much more if we had the time.

As long as we’re writing something each day, I think we’re okay because we’re doing it out of love. It’s the same reason we work at schools and libraries – we love it. We’re making our impact on the world in amounts that we may not see in huge, golden pieces of money but we’re doing what we’re meant to do. That’s our reward.

But everyone wants to have a best selling book, a published book, a book which is critically acclaimed (my wish) or just one which sells. But let’s think about what is best-selling or what books are popular. It’s no secret that the Twitter society of writers, book reviewers, and librarians just can’t stand the latest book phenomenons. They’re badly written. I remember reading someone’s blog post saying that anyone who doesn’t get paid to be a book critic and says a popular author is a “bad writer” is just sour grapes. No. Knowing good writing and bad writing is something we should be able to identify. Why, as a writer, would you suggest that writers think otherwise?

So best-sellers are sometimes not very well written. Published books are often very well written but lack uniqueness. Once in a while we find some gems of literary genius and we celebrate. (Those are the ones we should be looking out for.) So, what does this mean for self-published books? When I read some independent novels, I felt they were in the same class (or above) some other books that were in print through a high profile publisher. But they were all kind of the same and it became very tedious to read the same plot over and over. To me, there’s nothing that really says anything about yourself if you’re trying to follow the same lines as other popular books. Yes, we like them, but we have our own unique take on the world, so it’s important that we keep that in mind when trying to create our own masterpiece.

Anyway, I had just been thinking about how writers are looking at what they do. I see far, far too many Twitter accounts that are nothing but book promotion. It saddens me to think that this is what writing has ended up being. There were few great writers in the past 200 years some of the lived in poverty. It isn’t anything new that we should be working for very little profit but now we have millions of people across the globe trying to sell their work. We now have an even larger pool to swim in because the publishers’ desks are full and Amazon is full with books that are self-published. It’s not easy but we do it because we want to. Remember that.

J.K. Rowling suggested writers keep a day job while they wait through rejections and self-published authors make less than $500 for their books. It can never be about the money. It has to be about doing what you feel is your purpose on this Earth to do.

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